17

Chapter 17

YOONGI'S POV

Two weeks passed so fast that sometimes I genuinely stopped and wondered where all the days went. Passing time used to be the biggest fear in my life because every day felt too long when I was alone. Back then I wanted time to move faster so I could just survive somehow without thinking too much.

And now suddenly two weeks disappeared in blink.

Maybe because now I was surrounded by people who genuinely cared about me.

My life during these two weeks became almost the same every single day.

Study.

Practice.

Exercise, which I still hate honestly, but I can't say no to Jimin at all.

Then study again.

And somehow... Jimin was involved in every part of it.

In morning he would wake me up on time, then make sure I eat breakfast properly before studying. Sometimes he sat beside me while teaching, explaining things patiently even when I asked same doubt twice, and sometimes he suddenly checked my notes and asked random questions just to see if I actually remembered concepts or was only pretending to study.

And he is scary when he teaches.

Whenever I couldn't answer properly, he would just stare at me with that serious look, not even saying anything immediately, but somehow that look alone made me feel guilty like I disappointed him.

And I really didn't want that.

I wanted him to feel proud of me.

And when evening came, he would drag me upstairs for exercise no matter how much I complained.

"I studied whole day," I complained once while following him upstairs slowly like prisoner walking toward punishment.

"And your body stayed in one position whole day," Jimin replied immediately without even turning back. "Now move."

"I'm tired."

"Then don't complain about sleep. You don't move yourself whole day, your body isn't tired and then you expect sleep."

He said it seriously, and I couldn't even argue further because annoyingly... he was right.

Call me mad, but I actually liked when he scolded me.

Because every time he scolded me, it made me feel like I belonged here, like I was not some guest staying temporarily in this house. It made me feel like I was his family too.

There was a small gym on the third floor of the house, so we didn't need to go outside anywhere. It had almost everything. Treadmill, weights, mats, cycle machines.

Jimin took this exercise thing very seriously.

Meanwhile I suffered every day.

I'm really not gym person. I genuinely don't understand how people enjoy sweating and dying willingly.

"Again," Jimin said.

I was lying flat on the exercise mat while he held my feet down so I could do sit-ups properly.

"I already did twenty."

"You did fifteen properly and five half dead."

"That still counts."

"It doesn't."

I groaned dramatically and fell back on the mat again like my soul left my body.

Jimin crossed his arms immediately.

"Yoongi."

That tone itself meant there was absolutely no escape.

And honestly I still hated when he called me Yoongi sometimes because then what was the point of giving me nickname?

I sighed loudly before lifting my body again.

Every time I came up, my face ended up so close to his because he was crouching near me while holding my feet in place, and that closeness kept distracting me more than the exercise itself.

Close enough for me to notice stupid things again.

His eyelashes.

The small mole near his neck.

His lips.

And the more I noticed these things, the more self-aware I became about myself and my feelings.

Because this feeling was not disappearing.

It was becoming worse.

I'm sure he doesn't feel what I feel about him. For him I'm probably just responsibility, someone he needs to protect and take care of because of circumstances.

Meanwhile for me...

He already became my whole world without even realizing it.

"Focus," Jimin said suddenly.

I realized I had stopped moving again just to stare at him.

"I am focusing," I lied confidently.

Jimin looked at me like he clearly knew I was lying.

I quickly looked away and went back down on the mat again.

Jimin shook his head slightly, but I could still see the small smile he was trying to hide.

These two weeks were also the first time in years where my sleep became better.

Some nights I still woke up suddenly with fast heartbeat, sometimes fear still crawled into my chest for no reason, but now I didn't stay alone with it anymore.

Because every single time, Jimin noticed.

And every single time, he would sleepily open his arms for me or move his hand toward me without even properly waking up.

Like he already understood me.

One night I woke up from bad dream again and sat quietly on the bed trying to calm myself before my breathing got worse.

Before I could even move properly, Jimin's sleepy voice came.

"Come here."

I looked at him immediately.

His eyes were still closed.

"You are awake?" I asked quietly.

"Hm."

That was honestly embarrassing.

I slowly laid back down beside him.

And like always, he let me hug him without making it awkward even little.

"You know," I whispered once against his shoulder, "if someone saw this, they would think I'm five years old."

"You are five years younger than me. It's same thing for me," he answered sleepily.

I stared at him with betrayal before putting my head on his arm anyway and wrapping my hands around his waist while he was still half asleep.

And somehow after that, I slept again.

These small moments kept happening during these two weeks.

And they were honestly dangerous for my heart.

One evening Jimin was teaching me difficult concept while sitting beside me on the bed. Papers were spread everywhere around us, and I was already frustrated because after hours of revision my brain completely stopped working.

"Yoongi, look here," Jimin said while pointing at notebook.

I immediately looked at him, Not the notebook but him.

He noticed and sighed immediately.

"The page, not me."

I smiled slightly before finally looking down.

Then after few minutes he called again.

"Yoongi..."

I stopped writing and looked at him seriously.

"Call me Yoon."

Jimin blinked once.

"What?"

"You gave me nickname first. So use it properly."

He stared at me for few seconds like he was genuinely trying to understand whether I was serious or being dramatic.

"You are fighting over nickname now?"

"Yes."

Jimin leaned back slightly, looking amused now.

But after some time, while explaining another topic, he unconsciously said it.

"Yoon, this part is important."

My hand stopped writing immediately.

I looked up slowly.

He also realized what he said.

And for one second both of us stayed quiet.

Then Jimin cleared his throat and continued teaching normally like nothing happened.

Meanwhile my heart was acting stupid again.

Now my exam was only three days away, and I was genuinely losing my mind because I'm the type of person who studies hundred percent but my confidence is not even half of that.

Books were everywhere around me again. Notes, highlighted pages, formulas, important questions.

I kept revising same things repeatedly because I was scared I would forget everything at wrong moment.

"What if difficult questions come?"

"What if my mind goes blank?"

"What if I fail?"

"You won't," Jimin said for probably hundredth time while sitting beside me.

"How do you know?"

"Because you studied harder than anyone I know."

I looked at him nervously. "Still..."

Jimin took the pen from my hand before I could continue overthinking again.

"Yoon," he said seriously, "your exam is in three days. If you keep panicking like this, your brain will get tired before actual exam."

"I can't help it."

"You can."

I stared at him for my suprise He stared back.

Then suddenly he pushed my notes away.

"What are you doing?" I asked immediately.

"Enough studying for today."

"What? No."

"Yes."

"I still have revision left."

"You also need functioning brain."

I looked offended immediately.

"My brain is functioning."

"You revised same page four times."

I froze.

How does he even know these things?

"How you know?"

"Because I'm watching you."

That sentence alone almost distracted me again.

Jimin stood up and stretched slightly.

"Come downstairs. Eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"You said same thing yesterday."

"I'm serious."

"And I'm more serious," he replied immediately.

I sighed dramatically before standing up slowly.

Honestly... I was really nervous about exam.

But somewhere between all this stress, all these study sessions, late night talks, forced exercise, and sleeping while holding him...

Jimin became part of my daily life so naturally that now even one day without him near me felt strange.

And maybe the biggest thing was...

I couldn't believe I actually started talking more than before.

Without realizing it, I slowly started opening myself more and more around him.

Like for first time in long time, I stopped feeling scared of being known by someone.

JIMIN'S POV

Fuck... fuck...

Right now I was standing inside the hospital corridor looking at the wall clock every thirty seconds like it personally offended me.

Today was Yoon's exam.

And I was still here.

I rubbed my face tiredly and walked from one side of the corridor to another again. My whole body felt heavy because I didn't sleep the entire night. Emergency cases kept coming one after another and by the time I thought things finally got better, another patient arrived.

I couldn't even call home properly.

And now it was already six in the morning.

I promised him I would go with him.

I stopped near the nurses' station and checked time again.

"Why this doctor is still not here..." I muttered under my breath.

I was getting irritated at everything. The ticking sound of the clock, the bright hospital lights, even people talking normally around me.

That's when I heard footsteps.

"Jimin?"

I immediately turned around.

Namjoon hyung was walking towards me wearing his white coat, holding coffee in one hand while adjusting his ID card with the other.

The moment he came closer, his expression changed slightly.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You look stressed."

Thank god.

Morning shift.

That means I can finally leave.

I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

"Actually..." I started speaking quickly, then stopped myself for a second.

Why am I nervous explaining this?

"Yoongi... remember him?" I asked.

"Of course," Namjoon hyung replied immediately. "Uncle Park's friend's son who lives with you?"

I nodded quickly.

"Yes. He has his exam today and I told him I'll go with him, but yesterday I got stuck here because of the night shift and emergency cases, and then I had to cover Taehyung's shift too because he wasn't feeling well." I sighed frustratedly. "I was wondering if I would even make it back home in time."

Namjoon hyung looked at me quietly for a second before smiling slightly.

"And now you want me to handle the rest."

I scratched the back of my neck tiredly. "Can you?"

"It's not even something you should ask," he said immediately. "Go. I'll manage here."

Honestly... I knew he would help.

Still hearing it made me relax instantly.

"Thanks, hyung," I said quickly before almost running away already.

"Jimin," he called once.

I turned while still walking backwards.

"Drive properly. You look half dead."

"I'm perfectly alive," I replied dramatically before hurrying away.

The moment I got inside the car, I started driving home faster than usual.

My eyes burned from lack of sleep, my shoulders hurt, and my head felt heavy, but all I could think about was whether Yoon already left or not.

What if he thought I forgot?

That kid overthinks too much.

By the time I finally reached home, I hurriedly entered inside without even properly closing the door behind me.

And then I stopped.

Yoon was sitting on the couch.

He was holding a book in his hands, but it was obvious he wasn't reading anything. Every few seconds his eyes kept moving towards the clock and then towards the entrance.

Like he was waiting for someone.

Waiting for me?

For some reason my chest felt strange seeing that.

Beside him Jungkook was sitting cross-legged while scrolling through his phone, but the moment he noticed me, he immediately stood up.

"Jimin!" Jungkook said loudly. "You came. Oh my god, we thought you won't come."

I looked towards Yoon again.

He still wasn't speaking.

But his eyes changed the moment he saw me.

That nervousness on his face eased a little.

And I noticed it immediately.

"Yoongi hyung was nervous that he wouldn't meet you before going to exam," Jungkook continued exposing him without shame.

"Jungkook," Yoon muttered quietly, clearly embarrassed.

I almost smiled.

I brushed my hair back tiredly and suddenly became aware of how terrible I probably looked right now. I stayed awake the entire night, didn't even wash my face properly, and came straight here looking like a zombie doctor.

"Give me five minutes," I said quickly. "I'll come back."

Before they could say anything, I rushed upstairs.

I entered the room and immediately splashed cold water on my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed.

"You look horrible."

My hair was messy, dark circles visible, shirt wrinkled.

I changed clothes quickly and fixed my hair properly with my fingers because there was no time for shower now.

Then I grabbed my car keys and hurried downstairs again.

"Let's go," I said.

Yoon immediately stood up from the couch without wasting even one second.

Jungkook walked closer and hugged him tightly.

"All the best, hyung," he said seriously this time. "Do your best."

Yoon nodded softly. "Thank you."

Then he followed me outside quietly.

The drive was mostly silent at first.

I was focused on the road while he sat beside me holding his bag on his lap tightly.

He was silent.Which usually meant his mind was running too much inside.

I glanced at him once before speaking.

"I'm sorry I couldn't inform you properly yesterday," I said honestly. "Emergency cases came suddenly and then I had to cover Taehyung's shift too."

He immediately shook his head lightly.

"You came," he said while looking at me. "That's what matters."

His voice was quiet, but those words stayed in my head for few seconds.

I cleared my throat slightly and focused back on driving.

"Did you revise everything?" I asked. "And did you sleep yesterday?"

The moment I asked that, he looked away slightly.

"I revised."

"And sleep?"

He stayed quiet for a second.

That's when I parked the car outside the exam center.

Then he finally spoke softly.

"I couldn't sleep because you weren't there."

My hand froze on the steering wheel.

For a second I genuinely forgot to react.

Then I slowly turned my head and looked at him properly.

He wasn't joking.

His eyes looked completely serious.

And suddenly something inside my chest tightened in a way I didn't like.

"You shouldn't make yourself habitual to this," I said before thinking properly. "What if someday I'm not there?"

The moment those words left my mouth, I regretted them Immediately.

Yoon's face changed so fast that even I noticed it clearly.

The softness disappeared from his expression.

His eyes lowered quietly.

And the atmosphere inside the car became strange instantly.

Damn.

Why did I say that like this?

I quickly got out of the car because I didn't know how to fix that sentence anymore.

Yoon followed behind me silently.

We walked towards the entrance together, but now he was walking slightly ahead without looking at me.

There was already security checking students before entry, so I had to stop outside.

Yoon adjusted the strap of his bag and started moving towards the gate.

"Do your best," I told him.

He finally turned around.

"Thanks," he replied softly.

Before he could walk away again, I stepped forward and grabbed his wrist gently.

Then I pulled him into a hug. He froze completely. Probably because I did it so suddenly.

I wrapped one arm around his back and patted him lightly.

"I know you studied well," I said quietly near his ear. "Make me proud."

When I pulled back slightly, he was still staring at me with surprised eyes.

Like he forgot every nervous thought for one second.

And honestly...

That expression alone made staying awake the whole night worth it.

"I'll wait here when you come out," I told him.

This time, a small real smile finally appeared on his face again.

YOONGI'S POV

I came out of the exam hall after almost three hours.

The moment I stepped outside, I finally let out a long breath properly.

The exam was good.

Actually... better than good.

Most of the questions were from the topics I revised again and again with Jimin. Even the difficult questions didn't make me panic much because somewhere in my head, I could hear his voice explaining concepts to me again.

"Read properly first."

"Don't rush."

"You already know this."

I studied so hard for this exam and today for the first time, I genuinely felt like maybe my hard work was worth something.

But strangely...

That wasn't the thing bothering me right now.

My grip tightened slightly around my bag strap while walking down the stairs slowly.

"You shouldn't make yourself habitual to this."

His words kept replaying in my head no matter how much I tried to ignore them.

What did he mean by that?

Was he trying to remind me about reality?

That someday he would leave?

Or maybe... maybe he already decided that whatever this is between us has limits.

Maybe for him I'm really just responsibility.

Someone he feels bad for.

Someone he needs to take care of because of circumstances.

And here I am...

Thinking about future whenever he smiles at me.

Thinking about him before sleeping.

Looking for him first thing after waking up.

I laughed at myself bitterly inside my head.

"You are seriously pathetic, Min Yoongi."

I stepped outside the gate properly and looked around.

Students were everywhere. Some looked happy, some stressed, some already discussing answers loudly with friends.

I ignored all of them.

Instead, my eyes automatically searched for one specific black car.

For him.

Because despite everything... despite what he said in the morning...

I still waited for him Like an idiot.

Then finally I saw it. It was his car.

My face relaxed immediately and small smile appeared on my lips without permission.

"He came..."

But the next second my smile disappeared slowly.

Because the person stepping out of the driver's seat was not Jimin.

It was Namjoon Hyung.

My chest sank a little.

"Namjoon hyung?" I called out while walking closer.

I tried not to let my disappointment show on my face..

But honestly I could already feel irritation creeping inside me again.

Why is he here?

Where is Jimin?

Didn't he say he would wait for me?

Namjoon hyung smiled after noticing me.

"Oh, hi Yoongi," he said casually. "How was the exam?"

"It was good," I replied shortly.

He walked around the car and opened the passenger seat for me.

"I came to pick you up," he explained. "Actually I was nearby, so Jimin asked me to come instead."

Instead.

That one word irritated me more than it should.

"Oh."

That's all I said.

I quietly got inside the car.

"Thank you," I added politely because my parents raised me properly even if my mood was bad.

Namjoon hyung smiled lightly before closing the door and getting back inside.

As the car started moving, I looked towards the window silently.

The reflection on the glass showed my own face.

And honestly...

I hated what I saw.

That bitterness.
That disappointment.
That stupid jealousy again.

I quickly looked away from my reflection.

Why am I even upset like this?

Jimin has work, Hospital is important,
It's normal if he got busy.

Then why does it feel like someone dropped cold water on me?

Namjoon glanced at me once while driving.

"You expected Jimin?" he asked suddenly.

I immediately looked at him.

"No," I lied quickly.

Namjoon hyung smiled slightly like he clearly didn't believe me.

I leaned my head slightly against the seat and looked outside again.

Roads passed by one after another while my thoughts became louder again.

Maybe I really am becoming too dependent on him.

Too attached.

Exactly like I promised myself I would never become again.

But how do I stop now?

How do I suddenly go back to treating him normally when he became part of every single day so naturally?

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